The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #80456 Message #1469079
Posted By: Rapparee
23-Apr-05 - 10:11 PM
Thread Name: BS: Obit?: Blinkin'
Subject: RE: BS: Obit?: Blinkin'
I tried to post this information this morning but prevented from doing so by Certain Nameless Powers. At the risk of my very life, I'm trying again.
First, the dude's name WAS Blynken, when he was born in Holland. But when he moved to A Certain English-Speaking Country he changed it. This is reflected in court records easily available to anyone. No secret about it.
The mystery has been solved by using the science of numberology and the clews inherent in...well, see for yourself.
Four out of seven letters are EXACT matches. The remaining ones are NTKZIE, which provide the clew to the murderer -- or, to be exact, murderess.
When you put them together, they spell ZIT KEN, an OBVIOUS reference to and disparagement of the late "partner" with whom the notorious Barbie recently broke up and a VERY obvious attempt to place the blame for a gruesome and brutal crime on an innocent man. (Well, innocent of the crime -- Ken's now living on Castro Street with a guy named "Joe".)
But why, you ask, the name "Blitzen"? Well, Blitzen is Santa's "guard reindeer" and this fact is well known to Santa's Little Christmas Bimbo. After offing Blinkin (nee Blynken), she fed him to Blitzen, who ate him teeth and toenails.
The motive is obvious: Barbie had heard of Blinkin becauss of his stage name, "Wee Willie Winkie." She assumed that the name was ironic and that his "Willie Winkie" was MUCH more than wee. When she found that the name was actually a boast, well, roota-toot-toot, five times she shoot. Then chop-chop and a meal for Blitzen.
Blinkin's homies are pretty torn up over the whole thing. Nod said, "Sheeet, man! We wuz gonna give him a goin' away party, and here all that's left of him is some reindeer poop. What we gonna do, hang around the shitpile and party? No way, man!"