An old friend called last week, obviously very upset and needing to talk. He had been drinking. We talked for a few hours, he discussed his life and how unhappy he is and that he thinks he has a drinking problem. He spoke about wanting to go to a rehab. He mentioned suicide. We made a plan to get him through the night and made specific plans as to when I would call him and he promised he would wait at least that long. I called at the time agreed upon and he was chipper and laughing and fine. He called again on Saturday afternoon and we talked for well over an hour, again he was fine.

Yesterday, between the hours of 4:30pm and 7:00pm, he called my home phone and left 3 messages. The first was a hello, call me. The second was, it's urgent and I'm going to wait here until you call me. The third was incoherent. I had my cell phone but not his phone number. Because his phone is listed under another friend's name, I couldn't call information for his number, but I did call his father. I told him about the situation and he gave me the number I needed. I called my friend 4 times in the span of an hour with no answer. When I got home, I called and left a message that I was now home and he could reach me there whenever he got the message. He called about an hour later and obviously had been drinking.

When I asked him about it he told me that he hadn't had a drink since 5:00. He started talking about his life and how it wasn't worth shit and suicide. I told him that if he really wanted to talk about that, it was fine with me BUT he should know that if I had ANY inkling that he was going to do something to hurt himself, I would call 911 and either the police or an ambulance would be there to pick him up and take him for a minimum 72 hour observation at the local hospital. I just can't deal with that kind of responsibility, you know? He said ok. Then he started talking about his drinking issues and how he really wants me to help him find a rehab. I'm willing to work on that end but not long after he said this, I heard a can being popped open. I said, "Are you drinking a beer right now?" He said, "Yep, just got one out of the cooler." I told him that I wasn't going to talk to him while he was drinking. He said, "Well, I guess we aren't going to be talking much then." I said, "No, I guess not. Have a good evening," and I hung up.

I called his father back and he said I did the right thing. I live about 3 hours from this guy (who is 38 years old) so there isn't a whole lot I can do. I suggested that he visit his family Dr., find a clinic, walk into any ER, call AA....he has excuses for all of it why HE can't do it but that I could HELP him do it. I'm frustrated with him and wonder if he really WANTS help, why can't he, or won't he make that first phone call? He had no problem telling me all about it but won't seek professional help.

Any suggestions here? He is an old friend who I really would help if I could, but I don't know what to do beyond what I have offered.

Anything constructive would be very appreciated!

Thanks!

ML