I couldn't decide if we needed a thread about every kind of car or just one generic thread, but I figured since we've already got Edsels and Lincolns started, we'd surely have to go with at least a FORD thread, since that's the parent company. This first song is about a Ford Econoline Van that wouldn't go, done up in the unmatchable style of Buddy Wasisname And The Other Fellers.

DEAR MR. FORD
Kevin Blackmore, 1988
As recorded by Buddy Wasisname And The Other Fellers

Dear Mr. Ford, I dearly loved my van,
My '85 F-150 was a beauty . . . when it ran!
But it didn't run a long, long time,
So I buried it in the ground,
Sure it makes a little bit of smell,
But it never makes a sound!

Chorus
Cause things fell off and things let go!
And nuts loosened up and I was always being towed!
Things would seize and refuse to work.
And I always felt like a real jerk.
Out there on the road,
When my van wouldn't go,

So . . .
I got sick of draggin' it home
Wouldn't it rot your socks?
Just as I fixed one thing on, another thing fell off!
So I buried it in the ground,
With a four inch pipe up through 'er,
And now I got me an '85 F-150 Econoline sewer!

Chorus

So . . .
Dear Mr. Ford,
Got thinking the other day;
You know myself and the other fellers kind of liked the old interior
I guess we're willing to pay.
We're ordering a brand new van,
With them seats custom made,
I'm going to park it on top of the sewer pipe,
And that's where it's going to stay!

Final Chorus
Things won't fall off and won't let go!
Nuts won't loosen up, I won't need a tow!
Things won't seize or refuse to work!
Though I might look like a real jerk,
Every time I got to go!
But it will pleasure me to know,
That my outhouse will be . . . a Ford!