We at Shaller Tuners work tirelessly to meet the individual needs of our customers. Rest assured we will be working on guitar tuners with keys that can all face properly forward while still in perfect tune.
I don't think that guitar companies intend to be deceptive in their advertisements, but I can well understand how you might have concluded from the many pictures of guitars with perfectly front-facing tuning keys, that you might expect that from the guitar you bought.
We will be in touch and let you know when we have tuners for you. Meanwhile, sadly, I suppose you will have to keep the guitar out of tune. Washing your hands might make you feel better but it's not likely to solve the tuning.