Oh dear -- Somebody stop me ---

I say, National Health is a must
When you have a gallbladder that's bust
They plug in the ring
Coo, what they do with that thing!
Then they leave it inside you to rust.

When the doctor became all a-flutter
The nurses they started to stutter
B-but sir, they decried
When his bum we espied
We just naturally went for the butter!

'There you go,' said Old Dr. Thorne
'You're as good as the day you were born.
But because of your lube
Don't go home by the tube
You know what heat does to popcorn!'