In a follow-up to the Mudcat quotes thread, how about some quotes that wouldn't otherwise be preserved, like the following gem heard in a local cafe. It concerns a house that had a council closure order on it.
'Of course, the real reason they closed it was that it was full of nig-nogs. The neighbours all objected to it. Bloody racists!'
(The speaker turned out to be the owner of the premises, which he was trying to sell.)
Nothing that has appeared in the press, please...