Burl Ives once remarked, "The kilt is the only suitable garment for a man of my proportions."
And how to deal with that question: • My Scottish pride. • My shoes and socks. • Nothing is worn, everything is in perfect working order. • How warm are your hands? • Play your cards right and you can find out. • Me mother once told me a real lady wouldn't ask. She was right, God bless 'er. • Tell me madam, would you go jogging without a bra? • To another man: Same as you, only bigger. • To another man: Your wife's/sister's/mother's lipstick. • To a woman: If I'm lucky, your lipstick. • Lipstick--two shades on a good day! • Socks, shoes and a wee bit of talcum powder. • Bagpipes, wanna give 'em a blow? • By a man: A wee set of pipes. • By a man: String -- I had to tie it up so it didn't hang below the kilt. • By a man: It's the smallest airport in the world.....2 hangars and a night fighter. • By a lady: A wee sporran. • By a lady: Chanel No. 5. • How badly do you want to know? • "Being a woman, sometimes other women feel more comfortable coming to me to find out what the guys wear under their kilts. I usually say, 'I can only speak for myself...... pantyhose.' (The wool of the kilt irritates my skin.)" • To a lady at church: What God graced me with. • Gi'e us your hand lassie, I'm a mon o' few wurds