Many big city papers in the US will not run an obituary unless it is placed by a funeral director, or the death certificate is presented.

That said, you can write the obituary yourself and give it to the funeral director, or you can "fill in the blanks".

I think naming people in the obituary DOES matter, and a lot to some people. What else would be the point of publishing one, if not to give a list of names. People use the information in the obits to get hold of family members, that sort of thing. I wouldn't worry too much about geneaological research--yeah, it's nice to have. But obits are also often wrong.

In my mom's obit (and it mattered a whole lot to her and her contemporaries), we listed she was "preceded in death by...her parents (by name), her siblings (by name along with their spouses' names--all deceased), and survived by her children (by name along with their spouses' names) and "X grandchildren & X great-grandchildren (who were not named).

That would be pretty much standard, ie "preceded in death by..." and then whomever you want to list, followed by "survived by..." and then whomever you want to list.

Often, only the closest relatives are mentioned by name, ie the husband/wife and children, and then the "preceded/survived by..." can say his/her parents, siblings and their spouses, grand & great-grand kids/nieces/nephews, etc.

I think it really depends upon how close the person in question was to the deceased. If there was a favorite brother, for instance, who was very close to the deceased, then I would put in their name (and other siblings too, to be consistent--it looks tacky if you don't include everyone in a category, IMO).

Don't know if that helps you or not.