Very nice entries brucie and JennyO, very nice indeed. I would not discourage your poetic endeavors. Yes, they are worthy of praise.

Yet, I must add that something is lost in the paraphrase, though the rhyming is excellent.
" distant sound of the toilet's flush." just does not have the same "uumph" as does "The flush of a distant toilet"
Notice that the arrangement of words in the phrase as you use them is somewhat awkward.

I think the word "distant" is the key here. Its placement is critical for the desired effect. By placing it at the beginning, you have shown your trump card at the onset, thus taking away the joy of the game, so to speak. The five words following the word "distant" actually do not embellish, but rather, detract from the power of the word.

Think of the word "distant" as you would think of Mel carter's saxophone on the version of "Going Home" on "Alchemy", the live album by Dire Straits. Mark Knopfler plays a riff on guitar, which is immediately echoed by Carter on his sax. The marvelous design and mixing on this instrumental gives it an aura that defies space and time and all their restrictions. Carter sounds ten thousand miles away from Knopfler here, yet comes across clear and strong. It is a work of brilliance.

As is "The flush of a distant toilet"

The "distant sound of a toilet's flush" would be Bobert and Martin Gibson playing "Going Home" in their living room on cigar box guitars with rubber band strings.

But pay no attention to my review. I am no poet. My best examples can be found on bathroom walls.

L. Cohen