"I have decided to resign as President, because I can't find my arse with both hands, a compass, a book entitled "Arse Finding for Dummies" and a forty-foot-high neon sign pointing to it saying 'This Is Your Arse. Yes, This One. Under Your Back And Above Your Legs. You Know, The Thing You Talk Out Of?"

Sadly not reported anywhere as yet, but hey - we live in hope!