Howdy, ya'll! An' welcome t' Bubba an' Jim Bob's Live Bait an' Sushi Bar, home obv th' worl' famous Throwed Sushi!

Yup, tha's us aw'ight! I'm Bubba an' he's Jim Bob. It ain't lack we iz twins er nothin'. Any damm fool kin tell th' diffrunce. I iz th' good lookin' one an' Jim Bob sorta smells funny.

Jus' come rat on in an' sitchyoreself down fer some good eatin'! Bubba an' Jim Bob's sushi is perpared frum only th' finest fish an' other slimey an' crawly thangs thet we kin catch here in th' swamp.

Here's our menu:

1) Catfish Sushi - Made frum only th' finest feelays obv genuine farm-raised catfish. No belly meat.

2) Mullet Sushi - Made frum genuine salt-water mullet, not them damm thangs tha's been way up-river where them dioxins an' such iz.

3) Gator Sushi - A Bubba an' Jim Bob's 'sclusive! Slices obv tender gator tail! Yum, yum!

4) Rattlesnake Sushi - Yee haw! Ya'll ain't tasted nothin' 'til ya chow down on sum raw rattler!

5) Crawfish Sushi - Made frum whole unshelled Looziana crawfish so's ya kin pinch da tail an' suck da head!

6) Roadkill Sushi - A surprise ever time! Cud be possum, cud be 'diller, or mebbe coyote er buzzard. Ya jus' dunno 'til it ya gits it, an' ya might still not know then!

7) Vienna Sausage Sushi - Fer the newcomers thet ain't so shore 'bout this sushi stuff. Tender slices obv genuine Armour Star Vienna Sausage. Yore choice obv reg'lar an' barbecue.

8) Potted Meat Sushi - Same deal as the Viennies only they ain't no sich thang as barbecue potted meat.

9) Th' Bubba an' Jim Bob Sushi Sampler - One of nummer one t' nummer six above.

10) Grow Yer Own Sushi - Jus' bring in whutever ya want sushi-ized an' our master sushi chef an' bait-cutter Buford will make it real purty fer ya. No questions asked. If it useta be yore neighbor's yappy little Cheewawa dawg it ain't none uh our bidness.

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All sushi is made wif yore choice of rice balls er grits balls (cheese grits balls extra) an' iz served wif saltine crackers an' halapeeno pepper sauce.


But wait! Th' eatin's only 'bout haff obv th' Bubba an' Jim Bob's coolinary 'sperience. It ain't called "Home obv th' Throwed Sushi" fer nothin'! Say ya orders Th' Bubba an' Jim Bob Sushi Sampler an' it don' quite do th' job of fillin' yer belly up. No problem! An' no need t' wait fer somebuddy t' come take yore order. Jus' holler out whut ya wants an' Buford'll make it rat up an fling it towards yore table. Jus' ketch it on th' fly an keep on chowin' down. When th' joint gits crowded an' th' crowds is hongry there's apt t' be sushi flyin' all over th' place!

An' by th' way, if'n ya bring yore Mamma-in-Law along an' she jus' don' like th idear obv sushi, jus' let us know. We still got sum MREs* lef' from whut th' FEMA fokes pased out after th' hur'cane. We kin fix one up in a hurry. Jus' don' ask fer th' Chicken Teriyaki 'cause Jim Bob dun et all obv 'em.

Ya'll come on out an see us now, ya hear? An' if yer hankerin' t' go fishin', we got yer nite-crawlers an' crickets an' Tawba worms too.


*MRE = "Meals Ready-to-Eat" if ya likes 'em or "Meals Rejected-by-Ethiopians" if ya don't.