I'm having trouble making the above versions scan but am very happy to have them available, thank you Haruo and everyone.
Somewhere, possibly in the "Everybody's Favorite Songs" series, I learned a nice popular translation of the first verse. I think it's very singable FWIW.
Proudly sweeps the rainbox o'er the cliff, Borne swiftly by the western gales While the strains of lovers' parting grief Sadly echo among the flowering vales.
CHOR: Aloha oe, farewell to thee, The winds will carry back my sad refrain One fond embrace before goodbye [before we part?] Farewell 'til we meet again.