Hello. I'm Mister Binky, a nondescript and musically ungifted male unfortunately saddled with a very descriptive name. You see, my first name is "Mister" and my surname is "Binky." Because of this I have led a very interesting life, especially in the Army where I was a helicopter pilot and a warrant officer. Warrant officers are, of course, addressed as "Mister" and I was addressed as "Mister Mister Binky." Civilian life has also been complicated by my name.

I wear thick eyeglasses and have chronic acne -- not enough to do something about medically, but enough to get me carded when I go for drinks (I'm 47). When I show my ID, bartenders always think that I'm jivin' them and get awfully nasty.

Despite my military background, I'm a very nonconfrontational, peaceful kind of guy. I never flew combat, but was one of the pilots who ferried the first President Bush around Camp David. Not to and from, but around -- to the fishing hole, to the golf course, and so on. Upon leaving the service I became an accountant in an HMO, where I am still employed with the title "Chief Medical Bean Counter"; my primary job is to deny medical procedures which are not cleary understood by my boss.

Do you think there is hope for me?

Thank you,
Mister Binky