The rules of cricket:

1. Wait for the traditional english rain dances to begin ( morris tour, test match, Wimbledon)

2. Extract a sufficient number of morris men from pub, and remove bells. You now have a team. Send any two into bat on the village green. Send another one in to remove their sticks and supply proper bats.

3. Everyone play in a laid back attitude. This is easiest for the fielders, who can often play whilst sitting under a tree on the boundary with a pint in hand.

4. Carry on for a set time/ number of overs/ number of pints etc.

If you wish to comment on the game, the rule is even simpler. You may only talk about the game once every five minutes. Typical topics are the 1964 New Zealand tour, the cake Mrs Miggins sent in, or in fact anything in the BS section...