Not a direct response to the thread, but this goes down well in East Anglia (tune of 'Freight Train'- adapt the lyrics to local frustrations!)

'One' train, 'one'train, goin' so slow,
Could it be the wrong kind of snow?
All I want is to get to town,
But you always let me down.

Went to town the other day,
London's just an hour away,
But we stopped outside Marks Tey,
And that's where we spent the day.

Ch:

Vital meeting, musn't miss,
Lots of jobs depend on this,
Brakes go on with a sudden hiss,
There's a leaf on the line at Diss.

Ch:

'One' regrets there'll be no train.
Driver overslept again,
This is doing in my brain,
And it's coming on to rain.

Ch:

Engines break down, trains derail,
Powerlines and signals fail,
Trains get lost in fog or hail,
You can hear the passengers wail:

Ch:.