often its the sons who are at risk, for example in Afghanistan, the young Hazara men were particularly targeted by the Taliban - they were murdered, or kidnapped and sent to the front line to fight for the taliban, against their own side. If they refused to do so they were shot.

Families put all their money together to send the oldest son - then, once the son has reached safety, it is their duty to try and earn enough so that more members of the family can be brought out. Those with the resources come as a family, but most people can't do that.