"Quips"

Some people hear voices. Some see invisible people. Others have no imagination whatsoever.

Taxpayers can use the short form or the long form. Any way you pay your taxes, it won't be long before you're short.

TV has come a long way. First it was black and white; then it was color; now it's off color.

Always buy a good bed and a good pair of shoes. When you're not in one, you'll be in the other.

On the highway, a small automobile being pulled by a motor home displayed a sign in its rear window reading "I go where I'm towed."

Just think of all the income tax checks on their way to the IRS. This is one time of the year when you don't hear anybody complaining about slow mail service.

I call out to my higher power to show me the error of my ways, give me the guidance so I do not repeat my mistakes, and the right words so that I can talk my way out of this ticket.

There are two basic rules for driving: Don't endanger the drivers in front of you and don't enrage the drivers behind you.

I'll tell you who wants to save daylight! A bunch of old men in Washington who can't remember how to have fun in the dark.

There are three ways to get things done: do it yourself, hire someone to do it, or tell your kids not to do it.

I got a soccer mom and a NASCAR dad.

Inquiring California politicians want to know: Can you still tax property that has slid into the ocean?

The IRS ought to serve coffee and doughnuts. The Red Cross always does when IT takes your blood.

Politicians love tax time. It's the only revenge they have for us laughing at them the rest of the year.