I bloody well quit this fecking forum quite some time ago, and no one even noticed! You bloody sods are the fecking limit, going on and on and on about Martin-fecking-Gibson. 'E was an obscene bugger wivout no redeemin' features, and 'e don't deserve that sort of recognition if you ask me.

I on the other 'and am a woman of considerable accomplishment wot is runnin' a fine retail establishment in Pickle-on-Thames and 'as 'ad 'er picture in the local paper free times. Me 'usband Eddie is a national monument, due to 'is unusual statistics. We are the Whatnolls, and when we bloody well quit a forum we expect people to beg and plead for us to come back.

We 'ave been insulted and scorned by you lot. I 'ope you all die miserably wif festerin' boils and rot in 'Hades.

- Olive Whatnoll