Limpit, dear, it's time you knew the truth about that quilt. It wasn't stolen. It had to be euthanized. Your poor mum took it to the quilt doctor to see if it could be made well but, alas, there was no hope. It was painless and the poor thing is no longer suffering.

We know you've lived under the delusion that the quilt was stolen for some time, but you're a big girl now so chin up, stiff upper lip, and all that other rot you Brits say in situations like this.