Guest, please consider doing what McGrath and others have suggested. Call yourself Guest/Threadstarter of something else distintive but anonymous. It will let us keep it straight. Just take a look at "Guest" right above this post. We have no way of knowing if that is you, or if you are in need of support.

Speaking of support, I have a friend who says when his wife asked him for a divorce he was devastated. But now, he says that if they had stayed together, muddling on through, he wouldn't have the life he has now with a wife and readymade family with whom he is fully in love.

On the other hand, I agree with those above who tell you that if the two of you realize that divorce is NOT the best option for you and your children, make the CHOICE to work it out. Infidelity - on either side - has not been the absolute worst that could happen in many, many marriages. Very often it is survivable.

Good luck. But please put a moniker in the "From:" line