I would commend you to seek out the poem "The Ballad of the Good Lord Nelson" by Laurence Durrell, it can (with a little bit of jemmying) fit the tune " Princess Royal", here is a Flavour

" The Good Lord Nelson had a Swollen Gland
Little of the scriptures did he understand
'Till a woman led him to the promised land
on board the Victory, Victory O

Now stiff on a pillar with a phallic air
Nelson stylites in Trafalgar Square
reminds the British what once they were
on board the Victory, Victory O

If they'd treat their women in the Nelson way
Ther'ed be fewer frigid husbands every day
and many more heroes on the Bay of Biscay
on board the Victory, Victory O
Laurence Durrell