Barry, a couple of thoughts -- The first line is a little bland for a song like this, with lots of good punchy lines.
The third line of the 1st chorus should avoid using "Man your pickups" when you are using man in a different way later in the line. The listener will get distracted and stop for a second, before catching up again.
I think a last verse which deals with the whole idea, summarizes, or gives a moral, or makes the thing ironic might be interesting (Life is like a series of ice damns -- people who run hot and cold build up lots of trouble -- or something). It is also not clear (the listener has to infer it from the arrival of the homeowner late in the song) that this is not neighbourliness, but money-making. Or is it? Is it fake neighbourliness, but you are expected to pay for it? Did it start off as something like barn-raising, and turn into a for profit industry? The last chorus which makes the money-making gypsy lunacy explicit should maybe be the only chorus throughout, -- you would then have the sound of the workers drunkenly singing on the roof throughout.
yours, Peter Y.