Amos--try this for your next road trip:

Due to the popularity of the Survivor shows, Texas is planning to do one
entitled, "Survivor - Texas Style". The contestants will all start in
Dallas, then drive to Waco, Austin, San Antonio, over to Houston and down
to Brownsville. They will then proceed up to Del Rio, El Paso, Midland,
Odessa, Lubbock and Amarillo.

From there they will go on to Abilene, Fort Worth and finally back to Dallas.

Each will be driving a pink Volvo with bumper stickers that read:

"I'm Gay" "I Love the Dixie Chicks" "Boycott Beef" "I Voted for John Kerry"
"George Strait Sucks" "Hillary in 2008" and "I'm here to confiscate your gun."

The first one to make it back to Dallas alive wins.