He who receives All Suggestions tux that one away for cooler heads to reflect on. A frozen librarian? Hmmm... Dewey thaw him? Decimal advice, anyway. Just so its on the books.

Meanwhile, in a small town most of you had forgotten, things are going from bad to worse. Some examples from the Lodi, California police log:

In the 24 hours since 4 p.m. Sunday, the Lodi Police Department handled 380 calls for service. The following is a sample of calls received by dispatchers.

Sunday

5:28 p.m.: A Hilborn Street resident overdosed on Benadryl.

6:45 p.m.: Underage juveniles were drinking at an unsupervised Amber Leaf Way party.

10:10 p.m.: Four males were spray painting cars on Eucalyptus Court.

Monday

12:55 a.m.: Prostitutes made hand gestures toward a man on Houston Lane near Victor Road.

8:37 a.m.: A naked man was masturbating under a blanket in Armory Park, 333 N. Washington St.

9:36 a.m.: Someone in a beige Ford Explorer had been surveying for days in the 700 block of Virginia Avenue.

12:59 p.m.: A credit card was stolen from a home in the 0-100 block of South Rose Street.

1:31 p.m.: A white Nissan Maxima was stolen in the 2000 block of South Stockton Street.

2:11 p.m.: After trying to rob someone at knifepoint in the parking lot of the 99 Cent Store, 300 W. Kettleman Lane, a helmet-less juvenile rode away on a green bicycle.

2:21 p.m.: Someone on Pinkerton Way wanted to report that a portable toilet burned up.

3:37 p.m.: A rocket came over a fence and damaged a shed in the 1400 block of Graffigna Avenue.

6:45 p.m.: Neighbors were arguing and rocks were thrown over a fence in the 100 block of De Force Avenue.

8:05 p.m.: A child fell out of a vehicle in the 800 block of South Church Street.

8:10 p.m.: Four kittens were found in the 500 block of South Sacramento Street.

8:52 p.m.: A man with a boom box was hanging out on church steps and throwing beer cans into the 300 block of South Central Avenue.

9:13 p.m.: Juveniles were jumping off a roof into a pool at a vacant North Avena Avenue vacant house.

9:15 p.m.: After receiving gun powder burns to the face, a juvenile was taken to Lodi Memorial Hospital, 975 S. Fairmont Ave.

10:26 p.m.: Someone was assaulted at Lodi Lake, 1301 W. Turner Road.

10:39 p.m.: After being injured by a firecracker at Garfield Street and Lodi Avenue, a juvenile was taken to the emergency room.

10:41 p.m.: A strange vehicle was running for 20 minutes, and then the engine blew up and started smoking in the 100 block of Harvest Lane.

10:57 p.m.: A female was trying to run over a male who was carrying a red cooler on Robert Street near Mills Avenue.

11:03 p.m.: People with knives threatened a female on Plumas Way.

Tuesday

2:14 a.m.: Two blue trucks were revving their engines and driving recklessly around the block in the 900 block of South Pleasant Avenue.

2:51 a.m.: A suspicious person was yelling at a front door in the 300 block of Chestnut Street.

6:39 a.m.: A purple 1993 Saturn was stolen sometime after midnight at Garfield Manor Apartments, 950 S. Garfield St.

10:35 a.m.: A suspicious woman in a black dress and blue slippers entered Omelet House, 700 Victor Road, and said the business would be robbed.

11:58 a.m.: A 1991 Honda Accord was stolen at Stonetree Apartments, 1819 S. Cherokee Lane.

1:43 p.m.: After punching his daughter and throwing her to the ground, a Westbrook Drive resident left the home.

1:56 p.m.: A man hit his son with a flashlight at Golden Era Hotel, 18 S. Main St.

2:25 p.m.: Someone at an apartment complex was hitting golf balls into General Mills, 2000 W. Turner Road.

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Just so you guys here in MOABlandia know when you're well off!! :D

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