Of course, if you're going to sing this, then in the interests of impartiality, you need to learn this one:


Don't Let's Be Beastly to the Germans
Noel Coward (1943)

REFRAIN 1: Don't let's be beastly to the Germans
When our victory is ultimately won.
It was just those nasty Nazis who persuaded them to fight,
And their Beethoven and Bach are really far worse than their bite.
Let's be meek to them
And turn the other cheek to them
And try to bring out their latent sense of fun.
Let's give them full air parity
And treat the rats with charity,
But don't let's be beastly to the Hun.

VERSE 1: We must be kind,
And with an open mind
We must endeavour to find
A way
To let the Germans know that when the war is over,
They are not the ones who'll have to pay.
We must be sweet,
And tactful and discreet,
And when they've suffered defeat,
We mustn't let
Them feel upset
Or ever get
The feeling that we're cross with them or hate them.
Our future policy must be to reinstate them.

REFRAIN 2: Don't let's be beastly to the Germans
When we've definitely got them on the run.
Let us treat them very kindly as we would a valued friend.
We might send them out some Bishops as a form of lease and lend.
Let's be sweet to them
And day by day repeat to them
That sterilization simply isn't done.
Let's help the dirty swine again
To occupy the Rhine again,
But don't let's be beastly to the Hun.

VERSE 2: We must be just,
And win their love and trust,
And in addition we must
Be wise
And ask the conquered lands to join our hands to aid them.
That would be a wonderful surprise!
For many years,
They've been in floods of tears
Because the poor little dears
Have been so wronged,
And only longed
To cheat the world,
Deplete the world, and beat the world to blazes.
This is the moment when we ought to sing their praises.

REFRAIN 3: Don't let's be beastly to the Germans,
For you can't deprive a gangster of his gun.
Though they've been a little naughty to the Czechs and Poles and Dutch,
I don't suppose those countries really minded very much.
Let's be free with them
And share the B.B.C. with them.
We mustn't prevent them basking in the sun.
Let's soften their defeat again
And build their bloody fleet again,
But don't let's be beastly to the Hun.

REFRAIN 4: Don't let's be beastly to the Germans
When the age of peace and plenty has begun.
We must send them steel and oil and coal and everything they need,
For their peaceable intentions can be always guaranteed.
Let's employ with them
A sort of 'strength through joy' with them.
They're better than us at honest manly fun.
Let's let them feel they're swell again,
And bomb us all to hell again,
But don't let's be beastly to the Hun.

**** This song was banned by the BBC for being too 'pro-German'.

LTS