Yo, GUEST, who started this discussion...

Congrates on taking the largest and most important step in changin' the way you deal with others. Apparently, the *reactive* side of yer personality had gotten the upperhand over the *thoughtful* side and you found yerself havin' to backtrack in keeping yer relationships afloat...

Problem is that with all the backtracking and apologizing that with every slip the relationship takes a *hit* no matter the bandaid apologies.

Ive mentined a few times that Einstien said that "Insanity is repeating a behavior expecting different results"... Well, I'm not going to say that yuou are insane but there is a nugget of logic in this quote...

Doctor Phil says it a little differnetly when he asks "Is it working for you?"

Somewhere between these two statements you may find that there is something fundementally wrong with the way you cope with situations. That the bad news... The good news is that there are ways to tweak yourself but it may involve either counselin', meditation, prayer, a change of diet, a change of careers, etc... Each of us is wired differently and what works fir one may not work for others...

But given that you don't want to "repeat the bahavior and expect a different result" I'd think a good start would be a few sessions with a good humanistic counselor...

And I'd shy away from the self help books because they can mess you up...

Good luck, and as bruce said, my PM door is always open...

Bobert