Oi!!!!!!!!!!! I have feelings you know. You may think we sit round all day fishing for nothing in your crass ornamental ponds. But nothing could be further from the truth. We are recharging our batteries for the hours of dark, that's when we come in to our own.

Who do you think looks out for the fairies as they dance in the moon light on your manicured lawns? Us, that's who. Who do you think they fly to when they break a wing on one of your stupid windchime contraptions? Us, that's who. Could you repair a fairies wing, using only the finest spun spider web for thread? No, you couldn't.