For Margo, here's Tom Lehrer's "Christmas Time Is Here, By Golly" the way it was printed in the first book of his songs. On a later album he had added a few more carols to the bridge.
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Christmas time is here, by golly!
Disapproval would be folly,
Deck the halls with hunks of holly,
Fill the cup and don't say "When."

Kill the turkeys, ducks, and chickens,
Mix the punch, drag out the Dickens...
Even though the prospect sickens,
Brother, here we go again:

On Christmas Day you can't get sore,
Your fellow man you must adore.
There's time to cheat [hate] him all the more,
The other three hundred and sixty-four.

Relations sparing no expense'll
Send some useless old utensil,
Or a matching pen and pencil:
"Just the thing I need. How nice."

It doesn't matter how sincere it
Is nor how heart-felt the spirit;
Sentiment will not endear it,
What's important is the price.

Hark! The Herald-Tribune sings,
Advertising wondrous things.
God bless you, merry merchants, may
You make the yuletide pay.
Let jingle bells celebrate
From San Francisco's Golden Gate
To the little town of Bethlehem, Pee-Ay.

So let those raucous sleigh-bells jingle,
Hail our dear old friend, Kris Kringle,
Driving his reindeer across the sky...
Don't stand underneath as they fly by.



His "In My Home Town" is a blast, with verses like
Nobody could ignore the little girl next door,
She sure looked sweet in her first evening gown.
Now there's a charge for what she used to give for free,
In my home town.


Other Tom Lehrer songs include "National Brotherhood Week," "Poisoning Pigeons in the Park," "Be Prepared (The Boy Scouts' Marching Song)" [If you're looking for excitement of a new and different kind/ And you come across a girl scout who is similarly inclined/Don't be nervous, don't be flustered, don't be scared/Be prepared."]


I love a bunch of the Austin Lounge Lizards stuff, too, like "Half a Man" and "Irving" and, of course, "Old Blevins."

But my newly revived all-time favorite funny song is Flanders and Swan's "Have Some Madeira, M'dear."

--seed