Dear CLETUS,
I received your list in the mail today, and am working on your requests. Will a light-up figurine of a dragonfly do? I'm sorry to hear about the gas accident--how about a big Zantac? I hope you will continue to be a GOOD boy, CLETUS, there are still 2 weeks left in the year.

Sincerely Yours,

Sandy Claws (what am I saying? I mean Santa Claus.)
P.S. On of my elves, Binky, had to be committed to the Neil Young Center, so I have an open position for a worker. CLETUS, would you do me the honor of coming up to the North Pole (a little farther north than Ohio) and being my *special helper* until Christmas?