Like, Mizzter Cletus, ummm, you goin' somewhere with that old man?? I mean I dig his suit and everything, but like I can't keep my tan up there, and like Fifi and Foo-foo hafta come, too and man, like I don't think they could go without their sweaters, and like I'd hafta pack and THERE ISN'T ANY RODEO IT'S ROE*DAY*OH, like who wouldn't know that?!! I don't know anything about a cowboy santa, unless, ummm, like you're talking about the Dallas Cowboys, like have you seen their cheerleaders? Wow! like totally rad, my mom says I have the legs and boobs for it, but like well, um.... I don't know if I wanna be out there on the field, ya know, like it could get kinda cold out there, too, like ya know and muddy and, okay, like what if one of those players, whaddaya call them, tight ends?, came by and hit me and like broke my nail or somthin? Like, that'd be totally uncoool, ya know what I mean? And, about going with, like, the old man?, there's NO WAY I am goin' anywhere I can't swim and hang out on the beach. Like it's just not cool, like ya know what I mean, doncha? Those purple socks're real nice, like I dig the plaid, too, but no way will you ever have any fun up there, it's like WAY cold and there's snow, and that, like, ummm, that old man in the RAD, red suit?, like I don't think you should trust him, ya know? Like there's lost kids' pictures on all the milk cartons, ya know, like kids who went with old men like him, well, um like, well, I guess they weren't 'xactly like him, none of them, like, had that cool suit, and like if he'd braid his beard or somethun, it'd be really cool and he could come to the party, too, like whaddya think, Cletus, ya know?

Your friend forever, but not in the cold,

Ditzee Lee