Am I the only sane person in this thread?

Cletus, I don't like Lilac, it smells of dead grandmothers. If you really want to tiptoe barefoot through my imaginary chest hair, then you need to ask Santa for some Sandalwood or Pink Carbolic.... And I have this thing about men with pierced ears......

Santa, I've given up with you, because I've never found Sean Connery in my stockings (OOOOOOOOhhhh, what a mind picture that is, dribble dribble.....), besides I've heard about that dyslexic who sold you his soul, and I don't approve. I'm even eating venison for Christmas dinner!

LTS