Also heard in the confesional:
Elderly Man: "Bless me father for I have sinned. Last night I took two hot stewardesses back to my hotel room and made passionate love to them all night".

Priest: "I see. May I ask sir, are you a member of this congregation?"

Elderly Man: "No"

Priest: "Are you even Catholic?"

Elderly Man: "No, as a matter of fact I'm Jewish."

Priest: "Well then, what are you telling me for?"

Elderly Man: "Hell father, I'm telling everyone!"