At least my offspring doesn't have fishnet boobs......!

Mind you, if my offspring wears clothes for more than four hours consecutively, it's because she fell asleep.....

How did you know I used to be called Droopy Drawers?

Santa, would you prefer mince pies or chocolate mousse? The deer can help themselves to the lawn, it's better for them and will save me mowing it one last time....

And if I had a cleavage without the aid of wire and padding, believe me, there would be mistletoe down it....

LTS