Night Owl, you're so right about that struggle. I find it can be so hard to let myself feel those griefs, joys, etc. It can be so much "easier" to put up defenses: make jokes, wise cracks, act tough, get angry or hurt, or just get numb.

This is my first Christmas since my father's death, and I find it difficult to feel the grief. He had a woman that he lived with who made it very difficult for us to be close It just feels like a relief that I don't have to struggle anymore to try to be close to him, while she was struggling to keep me away. I used to avoid visiting him on holidays, because his friend would be more difficult than usual then.

I hope you all are feeling close to those you love, tonight and every night.

Mary McCaffrey