Dear Santa,

As the daughter of Terri (sad but true) and a friend/associate/aquaintance/whatever (delete as applicable/least scary) I have to warn you that the morals of both parties are exeedingly questionable and I'm very sorry for any distress they may have caused you or your elves/reindeer/family/don't want to know that about Santa e.t.c . Mostly just sorry though and I hope this won't affect the present situation. Ta muchly

Fiona xx