Oh fer chrissake - if you're going to predict something - make it interesting - then you will be like Nostradamus and Al Stewart will write songs about you.

I predict........er lets see

the earth will open, and out will jump an army of bogus asylum seekers who are tunneling their way out of Manchester to somewhere decent

Shane warne will forget to put on that white stuff, and his nose will drop off

the match will be drawn but feelings in the crowd will be running so high that they decide to settle it with a penalty shoot out. Beckham misses.

Infuriated at the latest developments in the Big Brother household, the crowd go on a bloody rampage through Manchester from one traffic jam to the next

A special x-ray lens will be inserted into the wickets and the nation will be convulsed with fascination as to which batman has the longest willy.

all this will come to pass my my children, just when you went out to put the kettle on.