OK Tam, here goes:
THE SS SHIELDHALL Words and Music John Murphy

I'm the captain of a Civic ship
That sails upon the Clyde,
To wallow in my cargo I'm content,
We've a valuable load aboard
Which we're taking out to sea,
One hundred tons of human excrement.

CHORUS: We're the crew of the SS Shieldhall
       Pull your chain and we'll answer your call,
       A terrible aroma
       Will put you in a coma
       We're the crew of the SS Shieldhall.

When we come sailing by
We stink right to the sky,
The crew get nasal clothes pegs all for free,
When you see us you will learn
There's no seagulls at the stern,
It's only flies that follow us to sea.

CHORUS: We're ...

When the cargo is unloaded,
We dump it o'er the side,
In a heap that gets higher and higher.
We're building us an island out in the Firth o' Clyde
We'll live there when we all retire.

Last CHORUS:
            We're the crew of the SS Shiedhall ...SOME SHIP! (shouted)
            Pull your chain and we'll answer your call,
            A terrible aroma
            Will put you in a coma
            We're the crew of the SS Shieldhall.