'If I thought you didn't exist - would that mean that you didn't? '

I like that, Shambly-one!
Reminds me of the old Jimmy Greaves tale - and this I'm afraid is thread-creep!

Troubled by the ref's 'poor' decisions all through a game, Jimmy, somewhat exasperated, spoke to the ref...
'Ref, if I called you a right-bleedin' bast**d, what would you do?'
Ref replied 'I'd have to send you off son for foul and abusive language'
'But what if I just THOUGHT you were a right-bleedin' bast**d' said Jim
'Oh, I can't take any action for what you THINK' said the ref
'Well in that case' said Jimmy 'I THINK you're right-bleedin' bast**d!!!'

Still tickles me after all these years (and I hope I'm remembering it right!)
Cheers! - HFA