pavane,

RandyTab does have your "manadatory" features, but that's about it.

There's no parallel standard-notation staff, so alignment and auto-updating are moot points. Hammer-on, pull-off and slide functions are provided for (to my ear anyway) play back too quickly; certainly, there is currently no way to control the timing of these features. (A promised update may fix this.)

RandyTab does allow "aligned lyrics" and/or chords (not diagrams, but "names" like "C" or "Amin7" etc.) Just right-click the desired note to "insert" a "comment" immediately above that note; you can then type in the desired syllable of lyrics or chord name.

I think PowerTab (also freeware) has all the features you seek. For me, it provides much more than I need/want: a minimum of four parallel staves, for tab and standard-notation for at least two instruments (guitar and bass). It also provides something that probably meets your definition for a "chord dictionary": the complete set of chord diagrams for a given piece can be input and stored at the top of a given score.