The Mudcat Café TM
Thread #83915   Message #1545296
Posted By: harpmolly
18-Aug-05 - 08:40 PM
Thread Name: The Wiser Maid (please critique!)
Subject: RE: THE WISER MAID (please critique!)
Yeesh, you all are quick!!! I nip over to the woad thread for five minutes...*grin*

Yeah, "ship's command" is pretty weak. The other phrases that are making me cringe are the aforementioned "returning ships to sight", the heinous attempt to rhyme "receive" with "deeds* (shudder) and the awful "gold and gems replete". Well, if the song doesn't work out I can always eke out a living writing Victorian erotica *giggle*.

Kidding...thank heavens I have a decent day job. But thanks for the quick response. And Foolestroupe, thanks too...I'm overall pretty proud of it, but I'd like to work out a few of the kinks before I subject an audience to it.

Thanks and keep it coming!