Three Texas surgeons were playing golf together and discussing memorable surgeries they had performed.

The first one declared, "Y'know I believe I'm the best damn surgeon in Texas, y'all. A concert pianist lost seven fingers in an accident once and I reattached `em all. And eight months later, he played a command performance for the Queen of England."

The second surgeon rebutted this with, "Heck, that ain't nothing, hoss. I treated a young man one time who'd lost both arms and legs in an accident. I reattached them and two years later he up and won a gold medal in Swimming in the goldang Olympics."

The third surgeon laughed, "I tell you whut, you guys is rank amateurs. Quite a few years ago now, I had a case of a drunken cowboy who rode a horse head-on into a train traveling 80 miles an hour. Hell, all that was left to work with was the horse's ass and a cowboy hat. And now he's President of these United States."