TO: "Whispering" Dave Bryant from Thinbles O' Hooligan (aka the Croakin' Bullfrog)
If you still need those words here they are:

THE PRUNE SONG
(Crumit/DaCosta)

Nowadays we often gaze on women over fifty
Without the slightest trace
Of wrinkles on their face
Doctors go and take their dough to make them young and nifty
But doctors I defy
To tell me just why

No matter how young a prune may be, it's always full of wrinkles
We may get them on our face
Prunes get them every place
Nothing ever worries them, their life's an open book
But no matter how young a prune may be, it has a worried look

Every day in every way the world is getting better
We've even learned to fly
Days go passing by
But what about the poor old prune? His life is getting wetter
No wonder he can't grin
In that awful stew he's in

No matter how young a prune may be, it's always full of wrinkles
Now we may get them here and there
But prunes get them everywhere
babies fret until they hear a mother's lullaby
But no matter how young a prune may be, you'll never hear it cry

In the kingdom of the fruits the prune is snubbed by others
And they're not allowed
To mingle with the crowd
Though they're never on display with all their highbrow brothers
They never seem to mind
To this fact they are resigned

No matter how young a prune may be, it's always full of wrinkles
Beauty treatments always fail
They've tried them all to no avail
Yet other fruits are envious because they know real well
No matter how poor a prune may be hot water makes it swell

Peaches and bananas have that skin you love to touch
But no matter how fine a prune may be it don't amount to much
Prohibition bothers us but prunes don't sit and brood
No matter how young a prune may be it's always getting stewed

No matter how young a prune may be, it's always full of wrinkles
baby prunes look like their dad
Just not wrinkled, quite as bad
Prunes act very kind they say when sickly people moan
But no matter how kind a prune may be it has a heart of stone.


RtS
(I've heard a couple of FC versions of this, they differ slightly, I think I amalgamated both when I compiled this version)