I don't think any of us are empowered to really deal with the situation, harpgirl. Are we? Seems to me that Max runs the forum as he wants to, so if you or Shambles feel a change would be good, then you simply have to talk to Max directly about it, I would think. And see what happens.

I came here in all innocence a few years ago, and was initially shocked and rather hurt to be treated as a "troll", because I was a "Guest" poster. Accordingly, I got a membership. Then I went through the various stages of surprise at how mean some people could be here...which I wasn't prepared for. Then I got used to it, and learned how to let it wash off me like water off a duck. I just don't take it all that seriously anymore. People don't owe it to me to meet MY expectations.

This turned out to be good for training me in many things:

1. How not to become a target for people.
2. How not to let people upset and control me.
3. How not to develop and hold grudges.
4. How to like people even IF they are not nice all the time.
5. How to listen to people who are not "nice".
6. How to get along with people who are not inclined to get along.
7. How to find humor in my own and other people's frailties.

And so on...

This place is tough, but it's quite a training ground in interpersonal dynamics. When you have real trouble getting along with a particular person here, I think the best thing to do is PM them and see if you can straighten it out privately. It's not a good idea to fight tooth and nail with them in front of the whole forum, unless you do it tongue in cheek. I often do that with some of my most worthy opponents here, just for fun.