Dear Max,

    Is it true that William Shatner tilts at windmills, riding a chimpanzee, wearing lace panties, a beer in one hand, with a hamster jammed in his front shirt pocket, jaw pouches full inflated to serve as an airbag? And can you confirm the wild rumor that you recently 'mooned' a certain Mudcatter?

    Answer quickly please. Inquiring minds and the Society for the Ethical Treatment of Hamsters want to know.

Janie