Maine turd stirring practices:-

One starts with dog turds, plentiful and easy to obtain, especially when you are the proud owner of a 90lb yellow lab. This way, if you get it wrong you aren't messing up a good'un.

Once you've got the practice you can go on to woodchuck, chipmunk or skunk. The real prize is to find the moose turds, much prized for their use in pies, second only to blueberry pie in this part of the world.

One has to be able to describe, in as few words as possible, the odour resulting from the stirring process and to grade on a scale of 1 - 10, the extent to which such movement increases the aroma.

If you come and visit we'll take you out to practice the art.