I am glad to hear you are safe. I know it must have been registered somewhere else here, but the Cat has beeen down so often that I missed it. For me, your post is good news by virtue of being there at all.
I guess that extreme situations bring out the best and the worst in people. News editors seem to either want pictures of evil bandits roaming with guns, or of cute, white girls with fluffy dogs, as this ironical gag of yours suggests. It is what happens when you have a media industry instead of a media service.