ROFLMAO, BeeDub!!

Ancient psycho-iatrists tried using scalpels to change paradigms, a crude form of modern paradigmectomy that was originally demonstrated by a blacksmith in the early 1900's who revealed something very interesting about brains. In a shop accident and explosion drove a crowbar through his frontal lobes, severing them and remaining lodged in his head. Amazingly he was functionally no different. This demonstrated to the medical community that severing the lobes did not make a zombie, and they confused "not making a zombie" with a cure for epilepsy somehow, and started the wide practice of pre-frontal lobotomies.

In later, more modern, hip sassy and sophisticated times, pardigmectomies have been attempted using other kinds of force, including electrical shock waves, insuling shock, thermal shock from ice baths, the highly sophisticated ball-bat application technique, the 'slap-'em-silly" approach. None of these has any great record of success, but they all became popular. Not because they worked, but because they fed the huge market for legitimized opportunities to practice abuse, domination and overwhelm.

Paradigmectomy also became a cottage industry across all known civilizations, using simpler techniques of nagging, yelling, intimidation, endless correction of viewpoint, irrational mood-based blackmail, and other techniques within easy reach of any third world family.

Parallel efforts have been traced through history to enforce the removal of unwanted paradigms through subjection to major institutions with vacuuous generalizations attached to them, such as "eternity", "the Universe", "the United States Government", "mankind", "education", "science", "truth", "God" "politics" and "hamburger franchises".

However, despite all these explorations, no reliable method for paradigmectomy appeared. Rumors of conspiracies suppressing workable technology are rampant. Suggestions of alien intereference are also popular as explanations for the intransigence and intractability of humans on whom pardigmectomy is attempted.

New viewpoints in the field are emerging, however. It has been suggested by researchers that one possibililty is to apply to an individual the exact tolerance and freedom to self-define that the applier would wish to have applied by the patient, a sort of high-tech Golden Rule of paradigm change. The theory seems to be that if an individual is granted sovereignty of being, he will then be free to improve the paradigms used by any particular identity he selects to optimize individual andsocial well-being. Some experimental evidence indicates that under such conditions of individual private freedom to self-define, an individual who is sufficiently acknowledged will actual perform an auto-effected paradigmectomy, although at unpredictable moments.

More remains to be learned about this possibility, but although it shows great promise, wide-spread criticism has been heaped upon the technique on the basis that "we ain't never done that before". The fact that most prior approaches have failed miserably is dismissed by critiques with the simple summation that those who point his out must hate America. Although difficult to trace, users of this argument seem convinced it has some logical connection to the issue.

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