A very Happy Birthday to you Liz!!! I hope you had chance to shave your chest hair for the occasion, or perhaps even got a wax. Now that's a wax for a woman as opposed to a wax job for men. I mean, well, you know, the male version involves "whipping the bishop" and that sort of thing......or didn't you know? If not.........

Probably the only thing better than stroking it yourself is to have a Chinese girl do it for you. Knew a guy with a priapic condition (for all you dumbasses, that's a boner that just won't quit) and he met this nice Chinese girl who was really interested in him. They were sitting on the couch and she was whispering in his ears, running her tongue around them, and things were progressing along. He asked her if she could help him with his "condition" and she said, "Oh yes. You need a wax job." He had had his sausage polished before on many occasions but figured this was something especially Oriental and so he agreed.

She left the room and came back with two flat paddles, a ball of colored ribbons, and some handcuffs. Once again she ran her tongue around both his ears and then took down his pants. Without comment, she took his priapic member and laid it on one of the paddles, gently tying it in place with the ribbon. Again she kissed both cheeks and delicately ran her tongue around his ears. Then she handcuffed both hands behind his back and picked up the other paddle. She raised it high above her head and with a loud shriek, slapped it down on top of the other, flattening his willie between them. The guy's entire body stiffened as though it were undergoing an electrical shock......and the wax shot out of his ears.

Spaw