Cats are hopeless. They have their own priorities, and that's that.

So do dachshunds...but...they can easily be bribed and they're highly predictable in their habits.

Like I said, they'll do anything for food. Anything they are physically capable of. They would sell their souls for food without a moment's hesitation. Every dachshund's fondest ambition is to die by extreme overeating. Preferably spareribs, steak, or something like that...but really, anything will do.