Arrr! What with the Mudcat being down most of the day yesterday, I was unable to relate this story until this morning. Please forgive my tardiness.


Arrr, y'all. Jus' got back from a run inta town an' everbuddy down t' th' feed store wuz talkin' like pirates. I wuz jus' standin' there readin' th' label on a bottle obv pig wormer when ol' Zeke walks in an' says, "Ahoy, ya lot obv scurvy bilge rats! I be needin' ten bag obv scratch feed an' five obv layin' mash. Be loadin' 'em inter me truck whut's on th' starboard side obv th' buildin'. An move smartly, now!"

Now this ol' gal name uh Mabel wuz standin' at th' counter waitin' fer Jake whut runs th' feed store t' measure out sum collard seed fer her an' she didn' take none too kindly t' ol' Zeke jus' bargin' in an' throwin' his weight aroun'. "Avast, Zeke, ya ol' sack obv barnacle shite!" Mabel hollered at th' ol' codger, "I wuz here first an' if'n ya don't belay thet order fer thet scratch feed an' layin' mash 'til I'm done I'll be goin' up 'side uh yore head wif a grapplin' hook!"

Well, they wuz hollerin' so loud thet Deputy Jim Bob whut wuz next door eatin' luch at th' Live Bait an' Sushi Bar come runnin' in. "Arrr, me buckos!" says Deputy Jim Bob, "If'n y'all don' be belayin' all yer squawkin' an' carryin' on I'll be haulin' th' lotta yer t' th' brig!"

It wuz about then thet I remembered I don' even habv a pig no more an' thet I fergot somethin' er other obver t' th' Dollar Store so's I sorta snuck out th' door an' let 'em pirate folks work they own liddle problems out. I reckon mos' everbuddy'll be glad when t'morrow gits her so people'll be actin' an' talkin' like they normal selfs again. I ain't so sure thet lettin' rednecks talk like pirates is such a good idear.